Maybe I Shouldn’t Space Out 

I literally spaced out at one point today and this is the result of that spaced-out ness. More or less 😂

– Lactose and tolerant? More like lactose and ignorant

– I told you I was funny…occasionally 

– I can’t wait to be an adult and tell my kids, “Because I’m the parent and cause I say so!” 

– Are babies like dogs? If I feed them a certain food they’ll die?

– If I was the husband to a wife giving birth I would sit there and just hold her hand and stroke it through the pain. From what I’ve seen and heard and read, apparently telling her, “It’s going to be okay,” and, “Push honey. Just keep pushing sweetheart,” doesn’t make her feel better. Women don’t like being pointed out the obvious. I suppose neither does keeping quiet but there’s a less chance of having my hand broken 

– I apologize if I liked your photo from a fortnight ago or a fort-month ago. You’re either really hot or that’s a nice edit. 

– You’re no longer a brace face! 

– You think you’re all caught up on the gossip and drama that is your favourite celebrity(ies) and then you go to school and come back home 8 hours later and someone broke up, and someone else proposed under water and someone got a girl pregnant. As a celebrity I’m pretty sure you do not have that much spare time on your hand! What do you do with your life?

– When your grandma tells you how gorgeous the clothes you bought are and you’re cutting the tag off a plain, black shirt 😂

– Fun-sized snacks are not fun

– If you ever have a child I hope you’re not in charge of naming it 

– Its underwear! No one cares if it has lace or hearts or if it’s cheetah print! It’s the last piece of fabric before the main event! 

– I have yet to hear someone tell me how beautiful a pair of knees are or a shoulder is. Or how much it turns them on. When someone does maybe I’ll think about school dress codes 


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