Back Story: So about a month ago I was invited to a Halloween party at the apartment by Joseph. A few days before that he asked me if I liked him and I said no but he meant as more than a friend to which I also said no. I asked him how this came up and he told me it didn’t matter so I dropped it. Then he said it was because he thought I was sweet and wanted to get to know me better and if I would consider a friends with benefits with him. Joseph is hella cute and sweet and funny, sarcastic and blunt sometimes, but he’s also the friend and roommate of my ex, Smith. I told him it wouldn’t be a good idea because it would probably hurt Smith, he also had a friends with benefits thing with a girl name Dawn, and I had something else going on with Peter. We talked a bit more about the whole thing etc etc. There was some flirting in the days after but nothing too big. The day after the party Joseph said that he didn’t feel anything anymore and was just going to go for Dawn. I never expected anything to happen so it didn’t bother me too much. It hurt a little cause it was like a few days earlier you seemed so interested but fine whatever.
Skip to the Sunday before thanksgiving break. Dawn found out and wants to punch me. Understandable. Skip to Sunday of thanksgiving break. I was hanging out at the apartment with Smith and I knew Joseph and Dawn would be coming over. Smith and Joseph both wanted me to leave so that I wouldn’t have to face the problem but I wasn’t going to run away. I’m not some child that needs protecting. Before Dawn gets there Joseph is warning me about how it could go down and stuff. Then he tells me that Dawn doesn’t know the whole story and that she thinks I started everything and everything was my fault. He asked me not to tell her because he really likes her and doesn’t want to lose her so I was like fine whatever. The rest of the night was awkward and shitty and me crying a lot. Smith was trying to make me feel better and trying to calm things down but it felt more like he was defending Joseph and his mistake rather than me. Guess he really don’t want anything more to do with me now that we’re not dating. Smith apologised for being an asshole but hey, at least he was being honest. Maybe he should give Joseph some pointers.
I got back to my room and I called Peter and talked to him for a bit. I also vented to him about what happened and he was like no that’s not ok, that’s hella fucked up. You shouldn’t feel like shit and you should tell Dawn. If he’s not man enough to tell her the truth then he doesn’t deserve to keep her. I also vented to Kevin who was like it’s not your fault, none of it is and you shouldn’t feel horrible because Joseph couldn’t man up. You should also learn to stop compromising yourself to make others happy and let them have their way. The next day I vented to my best friend Lizzie about everything that happened and she got hella pissed off. She started ranting away and calling Joseph out on his bullshit and so on and so forth. It made me feel a lot better! Things only went south though even more when she messaged Joseph and asked him about it as well. I didn’t ask her to and I didn’t know she’d messaged him until after she’d done it. I told her it wasn’t necessary and she should stop but I also know she’s headstrong and will defend her friends till the end. I did tell Joseph that he should go and tell Dawn the truth because it wasn’t ok for me to take the blame and it wasn’t fair on anybody so he did.
I woke up the day after, on Tuesday, to Joseph telling me how badly I fucked up and his rants as well and Monday and Tuesday was basically spent with Joseph really pissed off at me and a lot more crying and shit. Basically the end of my Thanksgiving break and the start back to my last full week of school was really shitty. So I guess I’m thankful for it being so close to Christmas break where I get to fly to Thailand for three weeks and not have to be around people that I know and for the friends who know how to cheer me up and stand up for me.
*names have been changed